Marcel's Mind
(Latest 20 entries) (Calendar) (Friends) (User info)
Navigate: (Previous 20 entries)
Sunday, October 2, 2005
Yesterday was a crazy night that in the end ended ok.Today I wake up in a rather stressed mood.A string of overall pleasant dreams that was stricken with a closing image. A touch of reality that I haven't really kept in mind. Being the person that I am I'll take an image and make a mental novel analyzing all the meanings and the predictions that they have to bring.Let's just say it's not a pleasant experience.So all and all I'm physically fine but mentally in a heated debate with myself on what to do next.What will happen will happen I know this all too well.The trick for me now is not to repeat history.There's so much more that I hope to accomplish. But a display of bad luck has got me a bit on edge. I guess I just have to stay frosty.....I can't lose my cool or I'll regret it in the end. Focus on the tasks at hand and kill the distractions. I have a good feeling I can. I just have to work to get through the rough spots that are coming along. I guess its not so bad.Dreams are just really good signs.What will happen will happen.
Current mood:  contemplative Current music: Morning Musume-Mr.moonlight
Friday, September 30, 2005
When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I
Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.
Current mood:  drained Current music: Coldplay-fix you
Sunday, September 4, 2005
*while I'm singing karaoke revolution*
Fifi: I think there's a spider on the mic..
*tosses the mic to the ground*
Me: Colt didn't you see the two times multiplier I had going!!! I was freaking glowing man did you see the glowing?!?!?!?!?!?!?! and you had to be all like *imitates colt* hey marcel hey marcel! HEY MARCEL!!!! I need to know what 2 times 4 times pi is right now.
alex: so is she hot?
Fifi: Yeh shes cute.
alex: Oh I know what that means thats like saying that she has a great personality.
Me: Well I think shes pretty attractive.
Colt: She has got some BIG ol' titties
*fifi stretches her arms way forward as an example*
Jeff:The fuckityo family?
Marcel : they are from japan.
derek: you have some great new york boobs.
Jeff: shit, how do you switch your character?
*his character gets hit by a dodgeball, flies across the screen, and comes back around the other side.
Me: come on alex it's a simple plan song you have to be more whiny
fifi: Where's my cd?
Me: where is that spider that you said you saw hmm?!?!?!
Danielle: I stepped on it on the way in it was by the door
Me:You lie! Don't you lie for her! You've betrayed me! BETRAYAL!!!!!
Fifi: it sounds like you are saying portrayal
Me: Well she is portraying a person who is telling the truth and I wont have that in my house!
Monday, August 15, 2005
Thought of the day- Knowledge is power but knowing too much is a weakness.
Well this weekend was pretty cool, spent time with sareand the family and it was a blast. Highlights of the weekend was playing secret of mana (we'll beat that game eventually),laughing at half life 2 (baby doll attack) and making fun of lori (so when is the gay guy coming over.Work yesterday was bearable and today should be much of the same.Tomorrow I'm off so I'll probably end up having something...who knows. At the moment i'm dealing with a couple lemons so lets hope I can make a really mean batch of lemonade. adios.
p.s the battle royale mangas own so much
Aishiteta to nakeku niwa
Amarinimo toki wa sugite shimatta
Mada kokoro no hokorobi wo
Iyasenu mama kaze ga fuiteru
Hitotsu no mede asu wo mite
Hitotsu no mede kinou mitsumeteru
Kimi no ai no yurikagode
Mo ichido yasurakani nemuretara
Kawaita hitomi de dareka naite kure
The real folk blues
Honto no kanashimi ga shiritai dake
Doro no kawa ni tsukatta
Jinsei mo waruku wa nai
Ichido kiri de owaru nara
Kibouni michita zetsubou to
Wana ga shikakerareteru kono CHANSU
Nani ga yokute warui no ka
KOIN no omote to kura mitaita
Doredake ikireba iyasareru no darou
The real folk blues
Honto no yorokobiga shiritai dake
Hikaru mono no subete ga ougon towakagiranai
The real folk blues
Honto no kanashimi ga shiritai dake
Doro no kawa ni tsukatta
Jinsei mo waruku wa nai
Ichido kiri de owaru nara
Too much time has passed by to
lament that we were deeply in love
The wind keeps blowing, while my heart
cannot heal all the tears in it
Watching tomorrow with one eye
while keeping the other on yesterday
If only I could peacefully sleep
in the cradle of your love, again
Someone, cry for me with parched eyes
The real folk blues
I only want to know what true sadness is
Sitting in muddy water
isn't such a bad life
if it ends after the first time
Despair filled with hope
and this chance with a trap set
What's right or wrong?
It's like two sides of a coin
How long must I live till I'm healed
The real folk blues
I only want to know true happiness is
All that glitters is not gold
The real folk blues
I only want to know what true sadness is
Sitting in muddy water
isn't such a bad life
if it ends after the first time
The seatbelts- The real folk blues
Current mood:  awake
Tuesday, August 9, 2005
A bit of randomness works out quite nicely.
got home from work took a shower and spoke with bridgette and alex about doing something today. So we decide to have something at my place. alex comes by and we play a couple of games and then latres and christina came by more gaming craziness and so on and so on....until boom.....uber crazy fun times.
Quotes from tonight
Alex:Truce!
Colt: Truce!
(right before a stack of bombs drop and blow them both away)
more when I'm functioning properly
:playing mario golf:
Alex's character does a little spin and says "par!"
Me: That was so gay
Me:*does the luigi dance* luigi luigi luigi!
Current music: daft punk-around the world
Sunday, July 31, 2005
lesson of the day
Sometimes you need to look at something in a different light to see its true value and that's when you realize that it's something you'd never want to change.
You laugh and you cry and show me the real you
and so I love you just the way you are
So I don't wish for anything at all
from the flow of time or the color of the sky.
That's why I'll protect that melody of yours and
your philosophy, and your words and everything
else to the very end
You're there living your life and just knowing this simple little fact
makes me so happy.
shiina ringo-kofukuron
Current mood:  energetic Current music: shiina ringo-kofukuron
Thursday, July 28, 2005
just wanted to say...man life is something funny.
Monday, July 18, 2005
I'm glad you came around today
I sure need a good companion
I'm losing it but you're the same
without you I move at random
Abusing 'cause you're a friend
and there's no Jesus here to explain
And take me higher
come take me higher
come take me high above our time
Take me higher
oh take me higher
come take me high above our time
We'll make it out of here? oh yeah
You justify you're not afraid
and I won't feel like this forever
You wait with me, because you know
there's so much more than this before we go
To take us higher
come take us higher
come take us high above our time
Take us higher
oh take us higher
come take us high above our time
We'll make it out of here
come take us out of here
take us anywhere? oh yea
Current mood:  amused Current music: higher by the cardigans
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
you scream out for more
let me tell you girl that's for sure
I'm gonna give you all ive got
I'm gonna fuck you in my red hot car
Squarepusher- My red hot car
Well my good friends colto and felicia get married today. Definitely awesome times if I do say so myself. It's fortunate that two people can get to a point where they are willing to accept each others flaws wholeheartedly and just in a sense become head over heels for each other. Ha I couldn't see myself doing that anytime soon. Too unconfident for that. Well I'll write more later. Running the fool's mentality right now
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Another day missed and a lot more to avoid missing to get these classes done.I swear my alarm was on and I wake upat 9:25 with a clock thats not on.Fucking up my christmas like no other.But I guess I'm just going to have to focus more for the rest of the semester to get up on time....and probably get 7 alarm clocks in my room.Well let's see a recap of my life recently.The Final Fantasy Dear friends concert was incredible.Its rather difficult to describe the mood set by hearing each of those songs played live. When Nobuo came out the crowd went so crazy he had to say wow you guys need to calm down you wont have a voice tommorrow but we didnt care.The funny thing about the concert is that the "ending" didnt have one winged angel in it.Me,Derek, and Colt were like they have to play it and we were kind of shocked when it wasn't played but we got to hear songs like the crystal theme and the chocobo song so it made for fun times. At the end of the concert Nobuo came out for a little survey and began talking about bringing the black mages here for a tour>>>that would be freaking awesome! So then he is like "well we can't just end it like this....we need an encore.: According to colt I jumped about 5 feet at this point yelling "woo!" and pumping my fist in the air when I saw the choir come onto the stage for "One Winged angel" (The choir came out before for "liberi fatali" earlier in the show so I knew this was going to be it) The three mega screens displayed sephiroth in all of his flaming glory..no pun intended for you yaoi fans.But all in all the show was great.My favorite songs were "liberi fatali" because I love the song and its one of my favorite ddr game tunes to dance to,Aeris theme because of beautiful sound and emotion,and one winged angel because its freaking one winged angel heh.So afterwards we went to gameworks and I played ddr mostly with a couple shooter....all in all a fun time.Other than that all I have to say is that crushes are tricky things.....lol and I could do without them right now.Adios you crazies.
Current mood: Happy/sad Current music: Asian Kung fu generation-Haruka Kanata
Sunday, February 13, 2005
Today started out good.For the first time in a long while i had a really comfortable refreshing sleep.I spent the night at my dad's house after work last night and since my bro had to check out on job apps I had the whole bed to myself and I can truly say that there is no better feeling.I woke up at about 12:15 and jumped online to chat with derek to tell him whats up.We chatted for a while about different things and it motivated me to get my butt in gear and stop with the waiting.so after talking to him i left to clean myself up a bit. Gave myself a really nice shave and haircut and I honestly thought I looked rather good.Took an awesome shower and prepped for work with a rather positive outlook.Got into the store and Missy was apologizing for me having to come in early but I didnt mind because she's cool and she worked for me when i got sick.The first couple hours went splendid and i was getting a lot of stuff done.For those who don't know I work at a subway at night by myself in the shittiest part of my town......which is further displayed by the fact that we are probably the only store with fucking bulletproof glass between us and the customers...yeh its a shitty place but its money and until I find something better it will do....which is really becoming less of a factor right now but anyways on with the story.It starts to get a bit steady at around 6:30 but I don't really think of it much because I got a good deal of work done beforehand and i thought it would eventually slow down....but of course you know what they say about assumptions.8 o clock rolls around and I'm wishing that the rush ends soon enough and just my luck a lady comes in and asks to use the washroom.Saying that she would order I buzzed her in(note:we actually have to buzz people into our bathrooms.) and go back to cleaning up when a couple of her "friends" come in and wait around up.right as the lady get out out the bathroom one of her friends go into the bathroom and a couple minutes after another lady runs in and starts knocking at the door and she gets let in. at this point I should let you know that our restroom is a one person restroom....which means two things
1.these girls have a pretty high level of comfort between each other
or
2.these girls went in there to toke up
and seeing them come out laughing hysterically and joking around I assumed that it was the latter....maybe both.
so I'm taking the initial girl's order and of course one of the drugged up idiots decides to jump in front of her and "distract" her from order which pretty much meant jumping in front of her and jokingly fondling her.Now don't get me wrong when it comes to drug use I don't really do it myself but I don't put my views on someone else...until it stops me from doing my thing jobwise or wherever.So I tell her to chill out and she laughs and leaves the store with her toking buddy.So I get done with the order and of course she comes back in and walks right up to the lady as I'm ringing her up and asks her to cut up a blunt for her...at this point there are customers waiting so I tell her to take that out of my store so she passes it off to one of her other friends who leaves the store and she sits with her toking buddy and starts to be annoying which finally ticked me off.So I went out and pretty much told them if they werent buying anything to please leave...and one of the smoker sisters gets up to leave without saying a word.....but of course the other has to say something to my evil unfair demand. "We don't have to leave are friends are getting stuff so you can't say anything to us." she says of course while leaving. Now this is where I think to myself.....
"Wait a minute, you came into my store not buying anything smoked weed in my bathroom and then proceeded to delay the order i was doing by being a stupid chickenhead fool and then have the audacity to bring a blunt to be cut right in front of me and I'm the asshole because I told you to get the hell out because a) you were being a ignorant whore and b)you were putting me in a position where I could get fired if I don't do something. Where the hell did logic go in your drugged up head?!?!?!"
So I'm definitely pissed off..and the fact that it stayed busy and I didn't get out until an hour after closing didnt make it any better.
so this is pretty much a chart of how work went
3pm-feeling super ultra sexy cool*
4pm-oh this day isnt feel so bad
5pm-wow im getting a lot done i should be out early tonight :)
6pm-hmm its getting a bit busy...im so glad i got stuff done earlier
7pm-man i hope it slows down..
8pm-OMG WTF R4p3r5*
9pm-.........
10-fuck this place
*semi-obscure video game reference
**used for dramatic effect
so I got out at 11 in a horrid mood and in a way I'm still am....although writing this helped me let of a bit of steam.
I need a new job.
Saturday, January 22, 2005
Nobody knows who I really am
I never felt this empty before
And if I ever need someone and come along
Who's gonna comfort me and keep me strong?
We are all rowing the boat of fate
The waves keep on coming and we can't escape
But if we ever get lost on our way
The waves will guide you through another day
~life is like a boat by rie fu
this is such a pretty song and I seriously am beginning to understand it now.
Tonight I went to an improv club with derek and colt and it was so great. The comedians were hilarious and made me laugh so much.Then we went out to eat afterwards and I just came to epiphany about my life.In a sense I've looked to the future so much that I've allowed it to block out what the present is showing me.It's good to set goals for yourself and all that but there has to be some understanding that sometimes things dont work out as planned and I may miss out if I don't look at what.What I have been seeing in the past couple of nights is example of a sense of acceptance in ones life that ive never realized is possible at this age.Mentally it has always been things will get better in the future but i think i should look at the now from now on.Simply love and live with what I have now and not think about any future payoffs.To live as if my dying is quite possible tomorrow and the next day. That is my goal.
Current music: Rie fu-life is like a boat
Saturday, November 13, 2004
have you ever had a string of dreams where all the decision you regret are thrown at you all at once.Oddly enough thats the kind of dreams I had last night.Putting me in different scenarios of what could have happened if I made a different choice and oddly enough for the first time I can see that I really wouldn't want to change those things.Although at times I wonder how things would have worked out differently I also see what I have now and I don't want to lose that.I guess what I'm saying is that you can spend your whole life wishing to change the past or you can just realize that the present is what you have to work with....and right now that isn't so bad at all.
Current mood: content Current music: Pizzicato five-happy sad
Friday, November 12, 2004
At subway yesterday a pregnant lady came in to order some food which all well and good but the thing that struck me as odd was what she had on her short.In the well known I heart new your style she had the worlds I love Dick on her shirt.Now I know what some may say,maybe her boyfriend is named richard or something but even then I know that she had to now had bad that sounded which is why I say that it was on purpose.I think that if her swollen belly didn't do the trick the shirt let everyone know that she has a fondness for all things phallic.Just thought I share.
Current mood: amused Current music: Cardigans-Been it
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
I go upstairs and derek is still laying in bed
Derek:Marcel Wake me up
Me:Get up
Derek:Get a huge bucket of cold water and toss it on me
Me:I can't do that your bed would be wet for days.
(see a cup with some "water" in it and tosses it at derek)
Derek:Gah what the fuck!
Me:You told me to toss water to wake you up
Derek That was perfume!! *coughs and gasps*
so here's the lesson if youre going to tell your friend to throw water at you dont leave cups of perfume on the dresser...or you will wake up smelling pretty nice for the next three days.
Sunday, November 7, 2004
I really dont know how to explain the events of last night without saying wow.The crappiness of the day was complete blown out the water by how crazy it ended.after having to walk to work and all that jazz I was pretty upset and of course working sucks as well but then when colt came and took me home i was in for the shock of my life when I came into see that they threw me a surprise party.I mean my god what the hell was colt fifi and dani thinking!!! I was practically frozen in shock when I entered the door to the point where I could hardly speak.(Yeh I know thats a shocker) But after the initial shock I adjusted and had a great time...rob got me the coolest shirt in the world...on the front it says creative in japanese and on the back it say j-pop owns me with picture of ayumi....freaking sweetness.I also got the new ddr game and an uber nice pad to boot thanks a lot colt,derek,dani, felicia and erick.This couldn't have come at a better time since things were getting quite crazy in my life and this kinda a lot of things into perspective.Man I love my friends and although there were a couple who couldnt make it I'm sure they wouldve if they could so I love you guys also :).I don't know what else to say..I'm happy.
Current mood: happy
Saturday, October 23, 2004
Not up yet it's after two
Nice here laying close to you
Feeling like a happy kitty cat
Pat my head and scratch my back
I haven't written in here for a while so I thought today would be a good time to recap things.
First off I got the job at subway which is overall cool.It's funny all the things I remember at that place.The familiar smells of baked bread and cookies.The usual customers....both annoying and not annoying.The tendency to always play kryptonite by three doors down on the radio.(the funny thing about that is that the music is so low I would almost consider it subliminal.I wouldnt be surprised if every once in a while it said "buy my sandwich bitch".Once again I'm working with my manager colleen,she is definitely the coolest manager in the world although she is usually frazzled about her son chris who I also work with.Chris is one of the funniest wiseguys in the world and working with him you are bond for a lot of laughs.
Secondly atm I'm still working at dq but contemplating leaving because of recent events and the fact im not sure if i can handle two jobs....I think its a bit much but we'll see.Colleen already told me she could give me the hours so its no loss if I do that.
Other than that its just the usual randomness at home.Which leads to both fun and odd moments.So overall that a bit of the recap for ya....I have to do that working thing today.So au revoir mes amies..
Current mood:  geeky Current music: freezepop lazy
Thursday, October 14, 2004
Today was interesting to say the least. I woke up this morning on a mission to actually not just let things fall as they were.I woke up set up colt's xbox to the comp to put some things on it and went off to drop off my brother's xbox and go look for a second job. (Dq is starting to slow down so im getting less hours.I have enough to live on but I also want to save up on money for a car.) So I drop off the box and my dad's and I talk to him about this online travel agency biz that he and the family have been working with.....its a expensive upfront fee....($300) but my stepmom made 1000 off of it which is pretty good.So I left and went to my old subway to get a sub and my old boss colleen offered me a job so i may just be working there again. Which would be nice.SO I get home and hang out with derek for a bit and then me and colt go to beggar's to get something to eat.
Cba moment:A girl stops me in the aisle and tells me that she remembers me....I dont remember who she is so I tell her that and a sad look come on her face.So I go up to get a table with d and colt and then I go back and talk to her a bit more.She tells me she doesnt remember where but she knows me.Colt and derek were telling me to pursue it but I was too shy.I know that her name is alyssa and thats all. odd...
So afterwards we went to hollywood park for a bit of arcade playing and I shot a couple shots in the super shot thing.
Which leads to now.thinking about a day of odd coincidences..it's tricky
Current mood: contemplative Current music: the blues
Monday, October 4, 2004
losing a bit of my mind...although it was the part i didnt use much.I'm hitting that gutter point of emotions were everything and everyone just seems blah right now.It's not that I hate it all..its just that I'm irritated as hell about it all.Life is so frustrating and I'm not sure what to make of it.Its better than nothing I guess.
Current mood:  aggravated Current music: The postal Service-The district sleeps alone tonight
Thursday, September 9, 2004
I have never heard a live acoustic version of ayumi hamasaki's dearest and I must say it so beautiful.
Current mood: Teary-eyed Current music: dearest (acoustic piano version
Navigate: (Previous 20 entries)
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
cegikma's journal